I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
