he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
