I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
