you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
