She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
