Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
