I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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