well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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