Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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