Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just pee around me
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
