have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
