at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
