here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
