sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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