i wish peter jackson would direct porn
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
