I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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