The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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