Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
