I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
