So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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