How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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