her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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