I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
So squirting runs in the family.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
