if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
