The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you win again, gameday.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
