I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I didn't notice because vodka
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
