i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
