We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Never underestimate the power of titties
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
