I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
