He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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