I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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