i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
