He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
