Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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