definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
