i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
