i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
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