And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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