still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
