so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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