and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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