Too much gin, very little bucket
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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