I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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