well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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