The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
