yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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