Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
