:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Two words: blizzard sex
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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