Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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