I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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