I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
