As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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