Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize