We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
