they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
