she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
