Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
